Humanistic Intelligence Articles
When is having too much not enough?
I was chatting to a Social Worker and he told me a story that I found really quite interesting. He said he was running a workshop to help older people live a better life and take more advantage of the services they offered when an old man said “The future rests with the 3rd World”. He asked this old man why and the old man replied “Well look at them and look at us. You see them on TV and they are full of life. They have so little yet they are going for it, living life to their fullest potential, with everything they have got. They have so little yet they never complain... Like they have this energy for living? They just seem to be happy with anything they have got and they go for life” And the old man made a face, to illustrate what he meant, with his eyes wide open and his face and body beaming.
And this made me wonder about people in Norway: when is having too much not enough? Do we have so much that we take life for granted?
I have been working in Norway for nearly 6 years now and I remember the very first day I landed in this beautiful country. I felt like I had come home. Like my bones recognised this place.
I had been warned of Norwegians being so very reserved but this was not my experience. Wherever I met Norwegians I instantly connected with them, from my heart, at a soul level. I felt like I had been here before and though I cannot explain to you, why or how, my whole body just celebrated being home. My first arrival here was a very special experience... and it has continued to be a very special experience ever since!
But I had to cope very quickly with the sadness that just overwhelmed me as the more I met people all over Norway, the more I experienced people living but not really living. The comment I continually got back was “I’m alive but I am dead” And to this day, I still do not understand this because I can always see the potential talent in people... Seeing the potential talent in a person is something I have always been able to do. I just cannot understand why people cannot see the potential in themselves...? Now this is a common trait in most Western countries but my perception (and it is only my perception) is that this is even more so in Norway.
So I sought to understand how people viewed life in Norway. What challenges they faced and how were they coping with living in today’s environment? I wanted to understand as the world I grew up in was totally different.
I grew up in a jungle where I had to live by my instincts or literally I’d be eaten by a tiger or bitten by a cobra. I particularly remember one sunny day with my cousin. It was really hot and we were by a large river. We decided to strip off and jump into the river to cool off when some instinct told me to hold still and I grabbed my cousin’s arms. He said “What’s up?” and I said “I don’t know but I think there are crocodiles in this river”. My cousin laughed and said “Don’t be so crazy” But I held on to his arm tightly. And sure enough, two eyes popped up and then another two eyes! There were two crocodiles waiting for us to jump in and thinking to themselves “Mmmmm here’s a tasty morsel”
Now when I got back to the UK, from being lost in the East/West Pakistan/Indian civil war (another long and adventurous experience) I remember thinking Black and White TV was like magic. I kept looking behind the TV Box expecting to see little people. And then colour TV arrived and it was like the cinema had arrived in our home! To think of people having mobile phones like we have today would have been like living in the Star Trek TV series with Captain Kirk!
Now, I certainly have had my fair share of challenges growing up in the West and I made lots of mistakes. But I always kept hope alive within me. No matter what challenges I faced, I always believed in myself and kept going because I knew if anyone was going to make my life better it was going to be me and me alone. And whatever challenges I faced I knew this was not my future. It was just a temporary blip in my life and that I had all the resources I needed to create the best future I could. So with the little I had I grew up and built a vibrant life, which today, is about helping anyone live the best life they can. This is the essence of my career, but to do this I first have to understand what is stopping people being the best they can be?
So as I searched to understand what it was like to live and grow up in Norway, I stopped a group of young people basking in the sun by a beach in Sandvika. They were a group of 20 or so young girls and boys between 18 and 24 and I asked them what was it like being Norwegian? I was curious about how they felt about living and growing up in Norway.
I received lots of positive comments about living in Norway – especially from the boys who said they had the most beautiful women. And I have to agree: Norway is filled with just the most beautiful women – not just in how they look but how they feel and behave and conduct themselves. Norwegian women, and women generally in Scandinavia, have so much dignity. There is something so solid about them. I felt they made such good life partners for any man! And I could only agree and wished I had been a young man growing up in Norway J really I did!
Then I asked them what inspires them and do they follow their dreams and if not, why not? What stops them? I was curious – I am eternally curious with life J as the world is so much more of an oyster for young people to do whatever they want, compared to the world I had grown up in.
The energy changed and finally, one young man, looking rather embarrassed, said... “We have so much” And I said to the young man “Please forgive me as my intention is not to embarrass you! I wish every young person in the whole world had what you have because you young people are the future. So do not be embarrassed. But please allow me to ask one thing of you... Do something with this wealth! Please do make something of yourself with the wealth you have so that you honour your ancestors’ who created this wealth, for you to enjoy, by doing something that creates more wealth for this country. By doing this, you not only honour them but you honour yourself!”
Now, I hate to generalise, but my personal truth and overwhelming perception, is that the majority of Norwegians (not by any means all Norwegians) wait to act until everything is given to them on a plate. They have so much going for them compared to people in the 3rd World, but they seem to lack this “oomph” to get up, get out of bed and be excited by life and eager to achieve things. And I want to say Norway – wake up! Wake up from the deep sleep you are in and recognise your incredible potential and appreciate more what an amazing country you live in.
My philosophy is that great people make a great nation. So help people to become great people. Everyone matters. I feel it is our collective responsibility to help each other become the best we can be for ourselves first. Because by doing this you become great for your neighbourhood, your community and your nation too. And this is what we want and need. The collective asset of all of the people of Norway, working together to become the best they can be. To build a nation of the people for the people!
Now I do understand, no matter what your age, at some point of your life you might feel stopped by life’s challenges. Just remember, this is just a temporary illusion, like a temporary blip in your life. The answers are always staring you in the face. It is just a case of whether or not you can see the answer. The way you look at life will either support you to find the answer or block you.
So when is having too much not enough? When you do not believe in yourself! So believe in yourself – because if you don’t who will?
And no matter how much you have it will not make any difference unless you first believe in you!
Momen's Acid Test
- Do you wake up in the morning ready to seize the day? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you believe in yourself and your ability to follow your dreams and make them happen? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t do? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you do your best in everything you do? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you motivate yourself everyday to be the best you can be? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you keep your promise to yourself? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you deliver what you promise to other people? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you do things to grow your potential? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you nurture yourself through challenges and keep going? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you add value in everything you do? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you support and encourage people to be the best they can be? Yes/No/Sometimes?
- Do you love your life? Yes/No/Sometimes?
Self Assessment
- If you have answered Yes, to most of these questions, then you are awake and doing your best!
- If you have answered No, to most of these questions, then you are asleep and not doing your best!
- If you have answered Sometimes, to most of these questions, then why are you not staying awake and doing your best, the best you can, most of the time?
Please note:
- Whatever your answer, the point of the above questions are not to beat you up! It is to enable you to bench-mark yourself against yourself and then to ask you an intelligent question, “Are you satisfied with your answer?” If your answer is Yes, then may the universe bless you. If you answer is No, then may the universe bless you even more to help and support you and give you courage because in this case I have to ask you, “What are you going to do about it?”
Momen's Law
Wake up! Seize the day! Realise life is an amazing gift to be lived! Understand this is not a dress rehearsal. You have one life, in this lifetime, so make the most of it!
Here are some tips to help, support and encourage you:
- Add value to whatever it is you do, just for the joy of it!
- Understand what is important to you and honour this by addressing what is important to you everyday
- Look after yourself by taking regular exercise and drinking lots of water
- Master your craft (whatever this is?) and be the best you can be
- Set yourself up to win by perfecting your environment the best you can
- Simplify everything so that you find the most effective way to achieve things
- Be kind to yourself and keep nurturing yourself to succeed
- Forgive yourself, recognising you did the best you could, at the time, and let go of the past and move forwards to a more positive future
- Forgive others who have done you wrong and let things go, not for their sake, but for yours
- Be unconditionally constructive and positive – it is much easier to succeed this way in anything you do
- Prepare for challenges and knock-backs and keep going until your achieve your goals
- Understand the more you look for what works, the more you will find what works
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